Never Compare Your Insides to Other People's Outsides! Learning How to Save a Marriage By Adam K B
It is easy to look at other people's marriages and assume theirs is better than yours or more solid than yours. Nobody lives with you - or other couples for that matter - and it's easy to imagine from seeing how people relate to one another in public that in private everything has to be perfect. This is especially true of celebrities and their marriages. Whether an actor turned governor who married into American royalty or the two hottest on-screen movie stars who thought a night meant a lifetime when their marriages fall apart, it's not only a shock, it is actually scary. Most think, "wow if they split up, there's no hope for saving my marriage."
Every marriage has its pressures. Sometimes it's financial - especially in these very tough economic times - or there are meddlesome in-laws to blame or one partner is having a hard time being as equal a parent as the other. These are all valid reasons for being pissed off! They are sometimes even valid reasons for having arguments. But the difference between your marriage and the hot celebrities who married in a fit of passion is that your marriage has a solid foundation. That's why as they're calling it quits, you're digging down and figuring out ways to save a marriage. Look at your issues. So you might be mad that your spouse is not as present at your kids' soccer games but let's face it, how often does someone learn 13 years later that her spouse fathered a child? Clearly, communication is better in your home than in others'. That's why when you declared to your spouse, "I am committed to saving my marriage," you really meant it.
What Are Some of the Steps to Take to Learn How to Save a Marriage?
Surely this has to be a question on your minds. First of all, assess the issues in your marriage. Figure out why you are arguing. Are you mad that your spouse missed another soccer game or is there something else going on? Maybe he or she is married to the job and how to save a marriage might begin with getting him or her to leave the job at 5:00 each day, not 9:00 each night.
Is it really a big deal that your spouse forgot your birthday this year? "Well if he loves me, he won't forget my birthday." How about helping him remember? Maybe he's just terrible at dates? Is this really a reason for you say, "I am not saving my marriage?" Perhaps send him a reminder a month, then a week and then three days before that your birthday is coming up. He'll appreciate the reminder and ways to save a marriage might not seem so bleak.
"His mother can't keep her nose out of our business. How can I get her out of our lives to accomplish saving my marriage?" This is a very valid request of your spouse. There are two people married here and his mother is not one of them. While it's true that only he can tell his mother to butt out, if you are committed to learning ways to save a marriage, arguing with him won't solve this problem. Perhaps demonstrate all the reasons why his mother's "assistance" is no longer needed. He might be slow, but he'll get it.
You see what just happened? In figuring out these reasons why you both are arguing and learning about ways to save a marriage, your issues didn't really seem so bad. While there is probably little hope for the hot young movie stars who spent a night together and got married the next day or the Terminator who kept big 13 year long secrets from his wife, the marriage you show the world on the outside and the one you live on the inside is actually pretty strong. If learning how to save a marriage is something you are committed to, as the expression goes, "Go For It!"
Learn more about how to save a marriage today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Adam_K_B/981422